September 23rd, 2022 – 8:17pm – The Farm, Meridian, TX, USA:

God has been doing so many things in my heart that seemingly do not relate to each other over the past months here on this farm in the middle of Texas…

He had me give away once again everything I owned. He’s had me speak to person after person this or that. He’s had me in solitude for 40 days and I complete two books during that time. He’s had me eating healthy… Walking daily… and reading… lots and lots of reading of this book and that.

There has been somewhat of a theme, the theme of heart and head. So much of what we absorb daily goes into our head… but with God things must go deeper… into our hearts… our spirits… our core.

I read a book called, “The Grace Outpouring” about a wonderful place in Europe that has seen great outpourings of God’s Spirit. And that book lead me to another book called: “The Revival We Need.”

But the weird and wonderful part of this… tonight I was sitting here trying to finish reading this book and suddenly God said, “You won’t find it in books, you’ll only find it in me.”

He was answering my heart’s cry of where and how do I see revival come to the earth. What is the formula, the process, the steps… etc.

He said in Him. So a conclusion I have to make is that revival comes from Him through a person who is so close to Him that He pours out of them… if I’m understanding what God has been saying to me these past months.

Looking upward, listening and obeying, and then, not by any action of ours but by a total movement of His Holy Spirit through us, revival pours out.

Let me say that again…

Looking upward, listening and obeying, and then, not by any action of ours but by a total movement of His Holy Spirit through us, revival pours out.

The cost is everything. This is so clear. In all accounts of great movements of God on this earth, the people God used paid everything. They gave God everything… they searched and sought and cried out to God… and He answered.

So how do I do that? I keep asking myself over and over, “How do I make that final and ultimate choice of total surrender to Him?” Not the religious act, but the deep, inner heart act.

I am terrified of that choice. I’ll be real with you about that. I’ve stepped so close to His glory and it scares the crap outta me. The radiant glory of His presence is overwhelming… and the holiness… all of it scares me to death. And if I could possibly express something about it… there is a very real aversion to it in me still. And I don’t understand it.

But it feels like for four and half years… no, my whole life I have lived standing on this side of a line that I haven’t crossed yet. Death to life. Life to death. Don’t you see? Once I make that choice I die. Me. Dead. My dreams. My wants. My ways all have to die. They have no place on that other side.

I know you know what I’m talking about. If your reading this your watching my life. For whatever reason you find it interesting… fascinating? Does God really speak to this man? How can that be, I’ve met him… he seems oddly normal. But you’re searching for the truth… and so am I.

God wants me in Israel. He has said so many times over the past four and half years. He has burned it into me with such fire that I must go. Why? That’s unknown to me yet. I imagine as with all things of God is has to do with love.

I’m really struggling… really, really struggling with going. For me I look forward and it’s all unknown. I hear Him speak and He says things and it’s all too big and wonderful for me to grasp. And yet there is the solitude and the obscurity of my calling that’s always been there. The two seems to wildly contradict each other.

He says things like, “I want you alone with me.” And, “I’m taking to my land.” And so on.

I don’t really understand yet why South Korea before Israel either. What does a weekend with a Korean prayer team in Seoul, South Korea have to do with Haifa, Israel? But there is a connection… and essential connection. And I know I cannot go to Israel without passing through South Korea.

All of these thoughts of mine I’m sharing with you… and they may seem disconnected, but they aren’t in the least. I’m painting a picture for you in broad strokes. So you can see my heart that’s seeking His heart.

And I want you to really understand one thing… when you support me you’re actually just giving to the Lord in a very profound way. I had -$17.72 in my bank account and in an hour I had been given $2,485 for my trip. If that’s not a miracle I don’t know what is.

And now in less that a week I’ll fly to San Francisco, Hong Kong, South Korea, Hong Kong, then Israel.

I’ve sent out so many emails to try to connect with people in Haifa and none have replied. Even the language school is silent. I’ve been accepted, but haven’t received the invoice to pay for the class that starts October 25th. A connection, the one I moved up my trip for, seems to have fizzled out.

So before me lies a bunch of flights leading to the unknown… in a foreign land.

I don’t go alone at all. God will be with me. And He’s always super chatty. And there will be people I’ll meet along the way. And more than likely they will be the ones God wants to reach out to. On the flights… in the airports… in South Korea… in Israel. It’s all about the one person that needs love. That’s what my journey is about. Love. Seeing and loving people.

So does it matter that the journey ahead is unknown? Not really. Because I know the One who has already written my story. And it’s Him that I seek to listen to and obey. One moment at a time.

Thank you for traveling this weird, bizarre, journey with me. I pray my journey with Him inspires yours.