November 2nd, 2022 – 8:57pm – Hostel In German Colony, Haifa, Israel:

Today I went to my Hebrew class at 8:30am until 10am… when the class was finished I talked with a few of my classmates and then headed out the door to go to the library to study and do homework when I heard my name being called. I turned to see the woman (I don’t know her name) who sits in the back of the class… with her son walking towards me. She then proceeds to hand me a bag full of vegetables and fruits and said, “This is for you from God.” And walked away. I said thank you and continued walking to the library.

I ask God as I walked, “And what is this for?” And He said, “Simply because I love you.” I thought about this most of the day. God had had this woman who I didn’t know and who didn’t know me to buy some simple fruits and veggies to give to me simply to say He loved me.

Honestly I should have been more surprised or grateful or something… but this is my normal. God being God. How funny that His and I interactions have become so normal to me that Him providing has become almost routine… the standard. I don’t really think about it anymore. He will provide for me. Period. That’s it… He just will. In whatever way He sees fit. Daily… almost moment by moment. Simply because He loves me.

People talk of spiritual warfare. They talk of asking God to bless them and others. They pray for money and they pray for health and they pray for all sorts of things. My whole life I haven’t understood any of this really. I don’t understand “prayer” as a concept. Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes I “pray”. And I know that the act is powerful. Talking toward God… to Him… directionally… upward. Hoping I use the right words to make my “prayer” effective…

But then I have the daily reality of being in a relationship with Him. And it’s total rest. Not inactive…. But active. In every moment He is there. He speaks… I listen… and I respond… and He answers. Is this prayer? Or is this… I don’t know what it is. It is other.

He is God. He is close. Always there. I trust Him. He has never failed me. Never left me. Never stopped loving me. Never been anything other than who He is.

So a bag of fruits and veggies from a woman in my class from Him… normal. Everyday event. Routine. Just to say He loves me… in a moment I wasn’t even needing to hear it.

I think what really amazes me… is that I am so broken and yet He still loves me. Stays close by me. Keeps encouraging me onward on this unknown journey.

What comes next I wonder? What wonderful gift will I find myself with, just because He loves me. And will I ever understand why He loves me so much. Why me? I ask Him almost every single day. Why me? And always the same answer from Him, “Because… I chose you.”