December 17th, 2022 – 11:54am – Haifa Hostel, Haifa, Israel:

Articulation. My how deeply I love the English language… not for it in and of itself no… but because it is my language. It is the language with which God birth me into and chose that I would speak. Placed in my family… in 1982… for a very specific purpose. English… the language with which I can fully attempt to articulate my life to you.

My time in Israel is drawing to a rapid close. I am laying in bed in a room in this hostel alone. I have chosen to not go to the beach with my friends today… but simply to be alone. To think… to consider… to lock into my soul the time here in this country for this season of my life. In three days I fly back to the USA… and I leave behind so many wonderful people.

So… how to articulate this time here to you?

I often wonder how others see me. A man traveling around with seemingly no real connection to family or friends? Perhaps… a man who does not put down roots. A man of the moment surely. I guess in the end it doesn’t matter. God sees me and He knows my heart.

Object Permanence. Oh how I love this as well. It seems to fit with all the things God is doing deep in me.

Solitude. Obscurity. Articulation. Object Permanence. Pioneer. Pilgrim. Traveller. Prophet. Seer. Beloved. Moments. Love.

If I have met you in this life:

And so I want to speak for a moment to you, the one who has come here to read this. For whatever reason you read… I want to say this. I am grateful for the moments we shared. Thank you for letting me into your life and letting me hold your heart. I am sorry I had to go. I am sorry I had to say goodbye. If I had my way I would stop and never move again. But then… you have to understand… there are others out there who need a hug. They need to be seen and heard and cared for. And that’s who I am. These burning tears streaming down my face speak to the depths of my love for you. Know it. Your face I can see even now and I remember the moments we had. And I so treasure them. So thank you for being a part of my journey.

If I have not met you in this life:

God loves you. He sees you and He hears you. He is with you and He is working out ways for you to know Him personally. Don’t give up… keep seeking Him. He is the greatest treasure you will ever find.

It is almost time to say goodbye again. How this breaks my heart so. If only you could see the pain I feel at having to walk away to go to the next place God is calling me to. I scream to the heaven, “God please! No more! I can’t love and lose again.” But then He fills me with Himself and I know the reason He made me. To seek and to love those He chooses. To be me, the broken jar of clay, loving as He teaches me to.

So I GO. I go and go and go until it is my time to rest.

The amazing thing is, if you were chosen for salvation, we will spend eternity together in heaven with God. And oh how I long for that to come.