December 26th, 2022 – 6:29pm – Sister’s House, Sherman, Texas, USA:

“And God is able to make all grace [every favor and earthly blessing] come in abundance to you, so that you may always [under all circumstances, regardless of the need] have complete sufficiency in everything [being completely self-sufficient in Him], and have an abundance for every good work and act of charity.” – 2 Corinthians 9:8 AMP

My time in Israel changed me. And returning to spend time with my family has revealed how deeply that change is. How I was before… I am not today. There is a new, deep river of peace that seems to flow under the surface of my personality now… and I feel like I am floating on top of that river. I understand things I did not, no, could not understand before.

The utter brutality of my time in Israel has refined something in me. It has sharpened my resolve and tempered the unsettled nature within my heart. Before… people flowed against my internal world and now they seemingly flow around it. Obedience to God comes quicker and with more purpose. Destination and direction are more refined. I feel… older.

I am discovering on this journey that God works subtly and steadily to refine us as gold in the heated fires of suffering and obedience.

In this time of rest the journey has not stopped, no in fact the lessons are still coming daily and in the night hours. God is always speaking and I am doing my best to listen and let what He says sink deep.

Before Israel I had such a need to make people see what God was doing in me. And now that is not important anymore. I have my assignments and I will carry them out obediently.

The other thing that has changed is that slowly the resistance to God’s working in my life is increasing. Day after day the instances of persecution are increasing. And I know God has begun to preparing me to walk in that deep river of persecution that comes to all of His faithfully obedient children. It must come… to follow Jesus brings hatred from the world.

It is a sign to those of us who have set out on the path of the cross that we are in fact traveling down the correct road. If the world loves me than I am an enemy of God, but if they hated Him they will hate me as well… as Jesus said:

““If the world hates you [and it does], know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love [you as] its own and would treat you with affection. But you are not of the world [you no longer belong to it], but I have chosen you out of the world. And because of this the world hates you. Remember [and continue to remember] that I told you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But they will do all these [hurtful] things to you for My name’s sake [because you bear My name and are identified with Me], for they do not know the One who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have [the guilt of their] sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin.” – John 15:18-22 AMP

So I guess I ask myself… as we all should… does the world hate me? Or does the world love me? And if the world does not hate me then am I really following after Jesus?

There must be a distinction between us and the world around us, and if there isn’t then are we really followers of Jesus?

You may do as you like, but for me… I must follow what God is calling me to. Day after day, I want to see where He will lead me and what He will do with the life I have offered up to Him. And for me… it doesn’t matter if I travel this road alone… not anymore. It is only my job to call out to others… but choice remains with them… and I must continue walking…

Into the unknown and uncertainty of tomorrow.