December 28th, 2022 – 6:32pm – Mom’s House, Sherman, Texas, USA:

Today I heard my one of my Russian friends that he got an apartment for his family in Haifa. How my heart was warmed knowing that he and his wife and two sons will have a home in their new country.

I spent Christmas with my family in Sherman, TX. It was the most peaceful Christmas I have spent among them and it was the first Christmas I have celebrated with people in three years. I have another 9 days here and then I will be off again.

God has already begun to prepare my heart for this new season that’s just around the corner. I am wrestling a bit with it and my heart has already begun to feel the desperation and the absolute need for my faith to be strong as I step out. Some days I feel so weak… so unworthy… so unprepared… but God is worthy of my all… and so I press onward.

A thought came to me, God never requires me to be at a certain point before sending me outward. He calls and I answer in obedience. Then His grace covers all the holes and the missing pieces and I see the light of His face as I step out not in my own strength but in His.

God lead me to this passage as I sat to write this evening:

“I have a duty to perform and a debt to pay both to Greeks and to barbarians [the cultured and the uncultured], both to the wise and to the foolish. I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation [from His wrath and punishment] to everyone who believes [in Christ as Savior], to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed, both springing from faith and leading to faith [disclosed in a way that awakens more faith]. As it is written and forever remains written, “The just and upright shall live by faith.”” – Romans 1:14, 16-17 AMP

I have not laid hold fully to what God has called me to be. No not yet… and it is that vision of what I will be that drives me down this path of obedience.

God has given me glimpses of who He has created me to be and I am not that man yet. So I press on in this race to win the prize, which is Him. And in this race He will do what only He can do and transform me into the likeness of His Son. Day after day, I submit myself to His leading and His rule… and He is doing the deep heart work that I am not able to. God gives wisdom. God sanctifies. God works. And I bow my knee and do as He asks me to do.

This next part of my journey will be in obscurity and will be with nothing, no material possessions. I’ll leave Dallas with just the clothes on my back, my phone and charger… and my passport. Everything else I own, however little, I will give to my sister. I wonder why it has to be like this? Why no coat? Why no clothes? Why no backpack? And the answer that seems to come is “freedom”. As a witness to the love and care of the One who has called me into this journey. He will provide and care for me as I go out. And that will be a witness to you, for the building of your faith.

What does it do inside me? It creates a state of desperation… desperately counting on God to be Himself and to provide every step of the way.

How can you experience these things if you have all you need?

God is training me for something… perhaps something far in the future or near. But I want to know Him and for that to happen I need to obey. I want to obey. I want to walk the narrow paths that lead to Him.

Broad is the way to destruction, narrow is the way to life.

It is time for us all to prepare ourselves for what is coming. Are you ready? Is your heart ready? When the sky above darkens and the first signs of the storm are heard in the distance are you prepared? I ask myself this.

Yesterday morning I was out and about shopping when I got a text that my sister-in-law, her mother, and my niece were in a head on collision. Their condition was unknown at the time. After reading the text I went straight to the Lord. He was calm in His responses to me and so I was calm. I took some time to ask for their protection… but I realized that they had already been protected. Proactive prayer for this situation was required. And it had been prayed. And so I was filled with peace. I wondered to myself why my emotions were so at peace. I love my sister-in-law and niece very much, I don’t know her mother well but I am fond of her. So I know that the news of an accident should have at least set off some feeling in me… but all I had was overwhelming peace.

Then it struck me… I live in a state of continual trust and confidence in God. My heart is at peace before Him… the One who I stand before continually. It is a heart state.

I am sure I’m not fully articulating this overwhelming revelation but I hope you get what I am trying to convey. Bottom line is… I trust God. Not by some trumped up faith in some words on the pages of a book… no. But by my strong experiential faith that is based on a lifetime of walking with God. Hearing and seeing Him work in my life and in the lives of others. This is the solid rock that Jesus was speaking of when He told the parable of the two builders, the one who built on the sand and the one who built on the rock.

Think about it! I am unshaken when the storms rage around me because my life is built and is continually being built on the Rock, Jesus. It’s one thing to hear the parables and another thing entirely to realize the reality of it played out in my own life. Right before my eyes.

Seek God continually… let Him do the work He needs to do in you. Trust Him to do what you can’t do. He will. And in the end He will get all the glory. And you’ll be standing in the sunshine of His glory… hearing His “Well done good and faithful servant, enter into your reward.”