I have been really struggling lately with what God has asked me to do: the writing of this book series. It has cost me everything over the years. And today I was just brought again to the brink of what I can handle and to the edges of my faith.

So, I took a nap… then I woke and set my face again like flint on the task God has given me to do. I bowed my face to the ground and prayed. Then I sat to work on one of the books I’m currently writing called: A Lifestyle Of Waiting. I have already completed the first draft and am working on my first ‘pass” of content editing. Today, as I selected the next chapter to edit… God broken in and just really spoke to me and encouraged me with what I had written over a month ago. And I believe this is for someone out there as well:

Part 32: A Lifestyle Of Waiting

Chapter 13: (Pass 1) –

Beyond Your No And Your Nothing

A couple years ago, I was really struggling with this journey God had set me on. I was lonely and weary. I was tired and burnt out. I was frustrated and couldn’t see where I was going. I was struggling with the foundations of my faith. I was falling into old sins and my weaknesses were in plain sight for all to see. I felt like I had nothing left to give God or to give this journey of His… and I wanted desperately just to say ‘No’ to Him. 

Then God spoke to me and said, “I want you to give me your ‘no’ and you’re ‘nothing’.”

What? Give you my ‘No’ and my ‘Nothing’? What does that even mean or look like? I thought about it for a long time. I took a walk. Then I bowed before Him and gave Him my ‘No’ and my ‘Nothing’ and He took both from me. It felt like a huge burden had been removed from my heart.

God had asked me to give Him what I had been keeping to myself. I had been holding on to my understanding of success and failure in this life. I had been consumed with my weaknesses and my lack. God asked me for both and I gave them to Him. It changed everything for me. I saw for the first time a glimmer of what this journey was really meant to be. I was to just obey Him and leave all the whys and worries and fears and nos and nothings in His hands. Ever since that day I have frequently given Him those again and again. And He has renewed my heart and my mind. 

This journey I’m on is hard and it is lonely and I don’t understand most of what He asks me to do, but I have come to lean on Him and trust His strength to carry me through the hard parts.

Here is a prayer I give you as a gift… to offer your ‘No’ and your ‘Nothing’ to God:

“Father, I thank You that You always hear me. Today I want to give You my ‘No’ and my ‘Nothing’. I say ‘Yes’ to trusting You when all I want to say is No. And I choose to trust You to be my all when I have nothing left to give You. Come and lift the burdens I carry off my heart and my mind today. Show me that it is You who holds my life in Your hands. Show me that it is You who is writing my story on this earth for Your glory. I bow before Your Holy Name today. Thank you for all You’ve done, are doing now, and will always do for me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!”

I hope that this chapter encourages you as much as it encourages me.