June 24th, 2024 – 9:19pm – In Solitude, Abiding In Obscurity in small-town U.S.A:

I’ve been in this small town for a little over a year now… and almost that whole time I have felt this overwhelming loneliness. Many nights I have curled up and cried myself to sleep… the pain so great. I’ve held tightly to God with everything in me asking the why questions… “Why God, Why?”…

There is a simple answer: The Final Book… Part 100: Where All Journeys End of The Book Of Benjamin Kareth.

I don’t understand it fully yet… I’m sure I won’t even after I have placed my pen down when I write that last word of the last chapter of that last book and rest… but what I do know is that everything I have experienced in my life up till now has been preparing me for the writing of that one book. I feel it in my spirit as I write the other books… as each word flows onto the pages bringing me closer to that final book, the final journey, I know what’s coming…

God has shared with me so many times what that final book will cost me to write… and I didn’t understand it… the cost… but I am starting to… I am starting to…

I miss everyone so very much. The absolutely painful silence. The cost.

But… it is all for His glory. Nothing we give to Him is ever wasted or for nothing. Our obedience to His Word always bears much fruit.

Have you ever sat and considered what it is costing you to follow Jesus? Have you sat down and considered the things you’ve had to let go of or give up. The dreams you had to surrender. The people you had to leave behind? What about something like your own understanding? Have you ever obeyed and had to lay down your own understanding to follow after Jesus? All the tears of pain. The suffering. The loneliness. Being misunderstood. Feeling forgotten and abandoned by God.

As I write this I can barely see through the heavy tears falling down my face. I wipe them away only to have more fall. So great is the pain and joy I am feeling now. I see the glory beyond all this… I have such joy that I can obey Him and suffer to do what He has asked me to do. And it is my hope and prayer that you come to know Him as I do… to share in the suffering that comes from obeying Him above all else.

That final book tells two journeys. One journey of a man who chooses Christ… and the other journey of who rejects Him. Think on this for a moment… What must God take me through to be able to write such a book? God told me once that that book would take everything from me. And now I understand what He meant. When I spend that year writing that book I will have to experience both journeys… to be able to write them down. Think on that for a moment. I’m trying to help you understand my journey and where it is leading.

I will experience a journey of choosing Christ! What joy that will be for me! To experience the joy of going home to be with God for all eternity… and to write that down…

But… I will also have to experience a journey of rejecting Christ! I will have to experience every moment of a life that takes that final journey… to experience a heart so opposed to God that it leads to eternal judgement. I’ll experience what it feels like to be forever separated from God.

And the sobs roll and the tears fall and I cry out: “God, is there any way you can take this from me?” But I say… not my will but yours be done.

These books… every single one… leads to that final book… to… Where All Journeys End.

So pray for me when you think of me. When God brings me to your mind ask Him to strengthen and prepare me for what I know I must face.

May thy God of all Glory wrap you in His love and lead you home to be with Him forever and ever.