I have spent the past year and half alone in this city in the middle of nowhere USA… it’s been beyond lonely. God brought me here, sending me out away from my family and my friends. I was so full of hope and expectation for what God was going to do where ever He sent me. But when I arrived seemingly nothing happened… I felt abandoned, forgotten, cast aside, worthless, and all the other emotions… I fell deep into despair… battled depression… struggled with my faith and my relationship with God… all for what?!… I was dying… forgotten and alone.

Very early on in my time here God brought this bit of writing to me… and I have held onto it ever since… I read it often:

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“I longed to walk along an easy road,

And leave behind the dull routine of home,

Thinking in other fields to serve my God;

But Jesus said, “My time has not yet come.”

longed to sow the seed in other soil,

To be unshackled in the work, and free,

To join with other laborers in their toil;

But Jesus said, “It’s not My choice for thee.’

I longed to leave the desert, and be led

To work where souls were sunk in sin and shame, That I might win them; but the Master said, “I have not called you, publish here My name.” I longed to fight the battles of my King,

Lift high His standards in the thickest strife;

But my great Captain had me wait and sing

Songs of His conquests in my quiet life.

I longed to leave the hard and difficult sphere,

Where all alone I seemed to stand and wait,

To feel I had some human helper near,

But Jesus had me guard one lonely gate.

I longed to leave the common daily toil,

Where no one seemed to understand or care;

But Jesus said, “I choose for you this soil,

That you might raise for Me some blossoms rare. And now I have no longing but to do

At home, or far away, His blessed will, To work amid the many or the few; Thus, “choosing not to choose, ” my heart is still. And Patience was willing to wait.”

– from Pilgrim’s Progress, by John Bunyan

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The only thing I’ve known this past year and half is that I was right where God wanted me to be and doing exactly what He asked me to do. So, this is my encouragement to you today:

God hasn’t forgotten you. He hasn’t cast you aside. His plans for you remain. Obedience isn’t a one time action, it’s a lifestyle, a lifetime endeavor, a calling, and a life’s work.

God’s greatest works are done in the world through His obedient children.

We all have a cross to bear. Jesus said that we must pick up our cross and follow after Him. This means we must die to ourselves. Easy words to say… but near impossible to do.

Dying to self feels like dying because it is.

There are two chapters of two different books I’ve written in this book series that I felt to share today with you. Not sure why. God knows…

The first is a chapter from Part 38: The First Incredible Adventures Of The Girl With No Shoes. In this chapter the main character of the story, Anne, is called to her adventure:

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Chapter 6: The Seven Ponds

In the middle of summer, Anne woke in the middle of the night to the sound of her name being called. She sat up in her tiny bed and listened to the darkness around her. She could hear no sound except for her father’s light snoring in the other room. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and pulled her blanket tight up against her. She listened to the quiet of the house.

“Anne Of The Light.” The voice whispered again. Anne couldn’t figure out where the voice was coming from. It seemed as if the voice spoke directly in her ear but there was no one near her. The voice did not sound like her mother, or her father and she knew that Jubilee couldn’t speak yet.

“Who is there?” Anne whispered back, “Where are you?”

For a long time, there was no sound, then again, the whisper said, “Anne Of The Light.”

Anne pulled her covers up tighter around herself. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness in her room, and she searched every corner for anyone in the shadows. Anne had never really been afraid of anything. She knew her father could take care of her if she was really in danger, though something about this voice was kind and peaceful. To Anne the voice didn’t sound angry or dangerous.

“Anne Of The Light, it’s time for your adventure.” the voice whispered all around her.

Anne pushed her blankets down and got out of bed. Her bare feet hit the wooden floor with a light thud. The cold, wooden floor felt good on her feet, and she smiled.

“Hello? Where are you?” Anne asked in the silence of the small room. “What adventure are you talking about?”

“Anne, it’s time for you to come now.” The voice came again and this time it sounded like it was outside her room.

Anne walked slowly across her room and out into the small, dark hallway of the old house. “Hello?” She whispered. “I’m coming. Tell me where you are?”

“Anne Of The Light.” The voice whispered as it seemed to rush around her now like a breeze and it blew through her hair. “Come.” It said again.

“Where? Where are you? Where are we going?” Anne asked again, she had turned toward the direction the wind had blown and saw the large, wooden front door of the house in front of her.

There was a crackle of excitement in the air. ‘What mystery is this?’ Anne thought to herself. She felt she was very much in need of an adventure, and she needed it badly. Life in the old house with her mother and sister had become a bit dull as the summer months had dragged on. Life in the big city was always exciting with the many sounds and endless lights that seemed always to be on. She missed her friends and their families. She hadn’t made any new friends in this new city; everyone was much older than her here.

“This way.” The voice said and Anne heard the large metal latch on the front door draw back. The big wooden door swung open slowly and a light wind from the cold night blew in the house. Anne listened for the sound of her father stirring but he slept on. His snoring continued. She walked toward the now open door and stepped out onto the porch. The door slowly closed behind her with a light thud, and she heard the latch slide back in place gently. Anne waited, sure now her father would come running from his bed, but there was only more silence. Her parents and of course Jubilee slept on.

The voice whispered in the night air, “They will be fine. Don’t worry about them. You’ll be back before they wake up.”

“I don’t know who you are.” Anne said aloud and then asked, “How do I know you won’t hurt me?”

There was a long stretch of silence then the voice whispered, “You will have to learn to trust me and I will have to learn to trust you, Anne Of The Light.”

Outside the house was almost pitch black. The canopy above the wall of trees that surrounded the house blocked most of the light of the moon from shining down. Anne searched the tree line. She saw no movement in the surrounding forest. She listened but didn’t hear even the sound of a near or distant bird. It was absolutely and quite strangely quiet. She thought she should be scared of that quiet, but somehow this quiet was more… she thought of a word to describe this quiet to herself… then she knew… this quiet was respectful. The sound that was always present in the world had bowed itself to this stillness, to this quiet.

“This way.” The voice said. Anne looked in the direction of the sound of the voice and saw a light to her right around the side of the house. She stepped down the three steps of the porch and her feet met the dirt. She slowly rounded the house and saw the light was brighter now. She could see that it was coming from a way off through the trees ahead of her. She walked a bit quicker toward it.

“I’m coming.” Anne said aloud. “Please wait, I’m coming now.”

When Anne reached the tree line she turned and looked back toward the old house. There was no movement. The house sat dimly in the night fast asleep. Anne wondered for a moment if her parents would wake up and miss her, but she quickly dismissed that thought. She turned and pushed past the underbrush and into the forest following the light’s distant glow.

As she walked through the forest, her bare feet stepped on branches, moss, dirt, and rocks. She always enjoyed the feeling of the ground as she walked. Somehow it made her feel connected to all the life around her. The touch of that life was joy to her feet. She felt very alive.

“Hurry now!” The voice said louder and now Anne could tell it was a woman’s voice.

“I’m coming!” Anne all but shouted into the forest. She picked up her pace as she sped forward. The light grew brighter and brighter until she burst out into a wide clearing in the trees. And she saw them… scattered around the clearing were seven small ponds. She saw that the light was coming from the pond in the very center of the clearing. The source of the light she saw was the pond itself. Its glassy surface glowed up into the dark of the night illuminating the clearing. The light was almost as bright as daylight. Anne stopped and stared in amazement. She had never seen a pond that glowed brightly before. She walked toward the central pond and stood near its edge.

“Here! Come closer! In the water!” The woman’s voice called from the pond.

Anne walked up to the edge of the pond, got down on her hands and knees, and looked down into the water. Anne expected to see her own reflection on the surface but instead she saw a beautiful woman wearing a beautiful crown of gold staring back at her from below the water. She saw the sky around the woman and some trees above her. It was as if she looked into another world. Anne realized that the pond wasn’t glowing at all but the sunlight from that other world was shining up into her own world.

The woman had long, curly, and blond hair and wore a simple crown of gold on her head. Her face was painted lightly with exquisite patterns almost like the tattoos that Anne had seen the people in the carnival wear. Her lips were bright red, and her eyes were a deep green. Anne had never seen such piercing eyes before. She wore a purple velvet overcoat that was beautifully embroidered with images of deer and flowers. “A queen.” Anne thought.

“Hello.” Anne said down to the queen who smiled back at her from the other side of the water. “What is this place?” She asked the queen.

“Hello, Anne Of The Light,” The queen replied then asked, “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” Anne asked, puzzled.

“Ready for your adventure?” The queen replied with a laugh. “I’ve been calling you for quite a while now.”

“Why were you calling me?” Anne asked. She looked around the pond-lit clearing. Nothing moved. No sounds at all. She looked back at the way she had come but could only see the tree line of the clearing. Then she looked back down at the queen.

“You have to make a choice my dear,” The queen said. “You have to choose this adventure for yourself. I cannot make that choice for you. If you choose to travel the journey before you it will cost you everything.” The queen’s words hung in the air of the clearing. Anne thought about them for a while. She knew that this was something she had to do, but she didn’t know why.

“I choose to take this adventure.” Anne spoke the words slowly and carefully, as if to record them in her mind forever.

The queen smiled and put out her hand towards Anne. Suddenly it came up through the surface of the water. The queen’s hand wore two bright gold rings. “Take my hand dear. Come here. I’ll explain everything. You have to hurry.” The queen said.

Anne thought for a moment. “Was this a dream? She didn’t normally dream this vividly. And if it was a dream, why did it all seem so real?”

As if suddenly deciding that this adventure would be more exciting than anything the old house could offer her, she reached out and took the queen’s hand. The queen instantly gripped her hand tightly and pulled her very hard toward the water.

What happened next Anne couldn’t really understand or explain. One second the water was coming up towards her and she expected to feel the cold wet surface hit her face and then the next second she was being pulled up out of the water onto the banks of a small pond. Grassy fields were all around her now. The sun shone brightly above her head. Birds flew around the sky. Anne looked down, touching her clothes and to her amazement they were dry. She turned and looked down into the pond but only saw the bottom of it. A small fish swimming just under its shiny surface. Once she had regained her composure, Anne looked around and took in this ‘other world’.

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The second chapter I’d like to share is from Part 51: Where All Journeys Stumble. In this chapter the main character encounters the Dark One again in the pouring rain:

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Chapter 6: The Second Dream

I stood in the pouring rain. Lightning flashed across the sky illuminating the darkness around me. In that split-second of brilliant light, I saw the wall of trees that surrounded me. They stood as a black wall against the illuminated sky. The ground was covered with wet grass that shone brightly in the light. I raised my arms to shield me from the crack of thunder that followed. The ground beneath me shook as the wave of sound hit me.

“I see you’re here!” I heard a familiar voice shout from behind me over the sound of the rain.

My heart sank. I knew that voice. The Dark One. I turned slowly around and saw him standing at the edge of the clearing. He glowed but it was not the glow of light but the glow of darkness. I could see him outlined in the darkness through the sheets of pouring rain. He took a step towards me. I felt sick to my stomach.

“Go away!” I screamed at him through the pouring rain. “Go away!” I shouted again trying to scare away the fear that seemed to grip my heart.

“Hahahaha…” I heard the chuckling of the dark ones I knew now surrounded me. This seemed like a horrible repeat of that day in my field, that first day that set off my first journey.

The Dark One lifted his clawed hand and pointed at me. He sang, “Oh, I see it now… I see it now… I see you now… so far away… little one… so weak and far, far away from home… I see it now… I see it now… I see you now… little prey…”

His words echoed across the clearing in the trees where we stood in the pouring rain. Another flash of lightning illuminated the scene but to my surprise the Dark One and the dark ones vanished in the light of the lightning. They just weren’t illuminated by its light. I took a small step back when the light faded, and I could once again see him and his minions.

I lowered my voice and said, “You’ve been defeated. You have no place here. Jesus won. And He won over me. I do not belong to you anymore.”

The Dark One tilted his head to the side considering me and my words. A smile twisted his face. His appearance began to change. Slowly light began to pour out of him and soon he was once again the shining, shimmering angel of light. He let out a laugh that caught me off guard. He waved his hands. His minions vanished. We were alone in the clearing. The rain continued to pour down and the lightning and thunder continued its onslaught.

“Where are you going?” The Dark One asked. His voice was once again seductive and something like beautiful. “Where is He sending you?” He said, then paused considering me and then asked, “You don’t even know do you?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I replied, “I trust Him.”

The Dark One laughed aloud, the sickening sound echoing again across the clearing. “I trust Him.” He mocked me. “You trust Him? But your car is broken, isn’t it? Where is He now, when you need Him most?”

I considered the Dark One’s words. I thought about Job suddenly. I stepped toward the Dark One and planted my feet. I opened my mouth and words poured out like water, “I belong to Him. I am His. I am a child of the King. You have no rights to my soul anymore. Though He slay me, yet will I praise Him.”

I smiled at the Dark One who had begun to back away.

I stepped forward and added, “My life and what happens to me belongs to Him now.” My words seemed to hit him like a wall, and he screamed in fury. His beautiful facade faded and his dark, twisted, self returned.

“As long as you are in my world, I will do everything I can to oppose you.” He promised, then vanished from sight. The sun broke through the clouds above me and a single ray of sunlight flooded the clearing. I could see the wall of rain all around me. It was as if the curtain of the storm had been pulled back. I felt warmth return to me and my clothes were suddenly dry.

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I have longed to go home so many times during this past year and half. To be around people again, people that know me and love me. But each time God has said a very clear: “No.” He reminds me that He brought me here for a reason, for a purpose.

Yesterday morning God put it on my heart to begin a new season of outpouring. This is probably the most spiritual way I can put it.

But basically He said this:

“The seven books of the book series at a time are not enough. I want you to also begin these things: a video series where you ready the Bible through for a year, a video log, a podcast, blog posts, art pieces, and YouTube shorts.”

Needless to say I had to wait on Him awhile and listen for Him to unfold this full project to Me of exactly what He wanted it to be.

These are my notes so far:

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Undivided Purpose Project

• put up old podcasts on website
• Prepare logo/video items/space in home to do each part of project
• Pray for the project

“The seven books of the book series at a time are not enough. I want you to also begin these things: a video series where you ready the Bible through for a year, a video log, a podcast, blog posts, art pieces, and YouTube shorts.”

Asher Oswald’s Assignment/Good Works:

““But [the time is coming when] the earth shall be filled With the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, As the waters cover the sea. [Is 11:9]” – Habakkuk‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ ‭AMP‬‬

“Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord [always doing your best and doing more than is needed], being continually aware that your labor [even to the point of exhaustion] in the Lord is not futile nor wasted [it is never without purpose].” – 1 Corinthians‬ ‭15‬:‭58‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Duration Of Project:

February 11th, 2025-February 11th, 2026. One Year.

Title Of Series:

“Undivided Purpose Project”

“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” – Psalms‬ ‭86‬:‭11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

To Do Daily x7:

• Podcast Episode – 15 minutes
• “Bible In A Year” YouTube Video
• Video V-Log – 10-15 minutes
• YouTube Short, 30-45 seconds
• Blog Post
• “Seven Sevens” Schedule Book Writing
• Daily Artwork/Sketch/Digital Artwork

This project is about habitually seeking the Lord. This project is about vision and power, the ability to do.

This project is about obedience and faithfulness.

This project is about provision and purpose.

This project is about discipleship and prayer.

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These notes I wrote down over the period of a morning listen to God outline what He wanted me to do. This new season of the Undivided Purpose Project is going to begin on February 11th, 2025 and run until February 11th, 2026.

Also, I went for a walk with Jesus and He spent the time talking to me and encouraging me in this new project and season. He said He is preparing me for what’s coming in my life and in the world. He reaffirmed that He brought me to this city in the middle of nowhere U.S.A. for a purpose. He has been preparing me this past year and half in solitude and obscurity to begin the next season of my life serving Him.

I’m kinda nervous of course. It sounds like a lot of work… but the truth is that He has prepared me for all of this before. Nothing He has asked me to do is new, just the format… perhaps the doing of it all at the same time.

God pointed out that it is seven avenues of outpouring from my life… as seen in the notes above. Seven outpourings as Asher Oswald. These will be my last good works as Asher Oswald. When I complete this year of outpouring as Asher, I will then change my name again as the book series comes towards its completion.

February 11th marks the point where I will have 3 remaining years of writing the book series before all 100 books are complete. Two years from February 11th I’ll have written 99 books of The Book Of Benjamin Kareth, leaving just the final year and the final book of the series which will be completed on February 11th, 2028.

I have this overwhelming sense that my time is short… and this could be that I have lots remaining to do before God takes me home… whether tomorrow… in three years… or in 65 years at 107 years old. I know however much time I have left I want to spend those years telling others about Him and serving Him well.

I know that His grace will give me strength to complete all He has planned for me to accomplish in my lifetime for His eternal glory in Jesus Christ.

I’ll be posting to this blog the updates for the Undivided Purpose Project, all 365 days of it. So, stay tuned for more info to come.

I’m trusting God to provide for my finances as I continue to listen and obey all He has asked me to do.