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Part 72: Where All Journeys Grow

Chapter 9: Waiting

V2.0 – 10/03/2025

I stood at the window of the gas station and watched the rain stop outside. The storm had passed over the area. Across from me, on the other side of the road, I could see another truck stop. Next to it I could see some small businesses and fast-food places. I had spent the past two hours waiting for the storm to stop. God had been silent since He told me to wait.

I shivered at the chill air of the gas station. I looked around for the old man who I had given my backpack and jacket to, but he was nowhere in sight. I wondered where he had gone. I hoped that my gifts would be a blessing to him.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself now.

I walked back into the adjoining restaurant and ordered a coffee from the waitress and sat down at an empty booth in one corner. I faced out so that I could watch people coming and going.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and opened my maps app. I saw that I was in, or on the edge of, a small town called Marion, Virginia. I typed in ‘Port of Virginia’ and discovered that it was 374 miles away by car. Walking that distance was impossible. God would have to provide a way to get there like He’d provided the semi-truck to get here.

The waitress brought over my coffee, asked me if I wanted anything else, and then went about her work. I sipped it. It wasn’t good or bad coffee just kind of ‘eh’. I missed my home brewed coffee. Somehow that longing felt traitorous. I asked God to forgive my ‘looking back’ and thanked Him for the coffee I held in my hands.

I looked around and watched people go about their days.

The time passed slowly by.

The sun came out of behind the clouds. People came and went. They ate, chattering loudly with each other or with unknown people on the other end of their phones. It was a continues flow of traffic through this place. I felt like the only one not moving, not making progress forward. I fought the impatience that seemed right at the edge of my feelings.

What kind of Christian am I? Where is my patience?

I thought back to the journey in the field. I thought about the journey to witness the life of Job. I thought about all God had showed me. I thought about running out of gas on the highway and then of seeing the tree being flooded but remaining standing upright.

What did it all mean? What did it all add up to? Where was God taking me? Why this way and not another way? God knew. I knew that He knew. It was just hard not knowing. Perhaps I couldn’t know.

I turned my attention to the shifting spiritual atmosphere around me. There was a sense of motion there, but it was purposeless. If someone had asked me to describe it I would have said, “The spiritual atmosphere of this truck stop is… well… chaotic at best.”

I listened but God remained silent.

I opened my eyes again and took another sip of the coffee I held in my hands to warm them. I thought about how often God was present but silent and wondered if others experienced Him as I did. I was sure they must.

Did others wait for God too? I thought of Elijah being sent to the brook Cherith for three years. I wondered how he managed to be by that brook for three years being fed by ravens, drinking the water of the brook, without any contact with people. I hoped God wouldn’t have me waiting for three years here in this truck stop.

I stood up and found the waitress. I handed her the money for the coffee and a generous tip. She thanked me and I left the restaurant going back into the store of the truck stop. I browsed the shelves of assorted foods and nicknacks.

What am I doing here? I tried to calm the impatience and restlessness I felt rising in me.

I took a deep breath and left the store. I walked across the busy parking lot of the truck stop and stood on the sidewalk of the road. The sun shone down on me and heat from it felt nice on my skin. To my right I could see the interstate that had brought me here. The traffic on it was flowing swiftly now. I was glad that Herald and Mildred had been able to continue on their journey. I wondered why God hadn’t had me wait with them. I shrugged. He had His reasons for everything, didn’t He?

I looked to my left and saw a few more fast-food restaurants on my side of the street. Beyond them I saw houses stretching out and then vanishing from sight as the road turned. I walked toward the houses. I figured if I could get more into the town maybe I could find a bus stop or a train station to take me the rest of the way to the port.

The walk into town was uneventful. I walked the main roads but found no bus stop or train stations there. I walked back to the truck stop by the interstate. I tried to pray along the way. I tried listening to worship music. Both didn’t seem to take away the impatience I was feeling. The sun lazily crossed the sky above me as I walked. I could tell I was getting a sunburn but that didn’t bother me.

“How do I get to the port?” I asked God again.

I listened for a few minutes and then heard His soft whisper, “You wait.”

I wanted to ask Him what I was waiting for but decided against it. I pushed away my impatience and tried to just simply enjoy the day. The sun felt good. The walk had cheered me a bit. I was grateful I hadn’t encountered the Dark One today. I didn’t let my thoughts linger on him.

When I reached the truck stop again the sun had fallen to just above the horizon. I needed to find some place to sleep for the night. I didn’t enjoy the thought of staying awake all night or sleeping on the ground somewhere.

I took out my phone and searched for motels. There were a few on the other side of the interstate so I walked towards them. I went into the first one I found and checked into a room. My room was on the second floor in the back of the motel. I found it and went in. The room was simple and clean. I was grateful for both.

I took a leisurely shower and put my clothes back on, they were the only set of clothes I had now. I brushed my hair with my hands and laid down on the bed. I pulled the covers over me.

I turned the bedside light off plunging the room into darkness. Only a bit of the fading sunlight outside made it past the heavy curtains on the windows.

I tried to sleep but couldn’t.

Loneliness seeped into my soul. I felt that familiar pang of being alone in my gut. I hated this feeling so much. I pulled the covers tighter around me and adjusted my head on the pillows. I curled myself up into a ball and took a deep breath.

I took stock of my life. How had I gotten here? I was alone with nothing in a motel in the middle of nowhere.

“Why are you here?” A voice sang to me from across the room. I recoiled from the familiar sound and threw open my spiritual eyes.

The Dark One lounged in the large chair in the corner of the room. He wore the same simple robe of dimly glowing light as he had the night before near the fallen tree. His legs were crossed. His arms resting lazily on the arms of the chair. He looked around the room and shook his head.

“Go away.” I told him, pulling the covers tighter around me.

Darkness poured out of him and spilled like fog across the floor. I saw that two of his minions sat crouched to each side of him on the floor. Both were considering me with hatred in their tiny eyes.

I closed my eyes and started to pray silently.

“Why are you here?” The Dark One asked again, his voice a quiet song in the stillness of the room. “Shall I sing you to sleep little one?” He sang mockingly.

“La, la. La, la.” His minions mocked in unison. The Dark One quieted them with a flick of his hand. They vanished from sight at his rebuke. He sighed to himself and let out the air slowly.

I just watched him wondering why God allowed him to be here tormenting me. I suddenly envied others who couldn’t see into the spiritual world as I could, then hated that feeling. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I felt so alone. I felt so far away from anything that could help me. I thought of calling someone, but didn’t know who I’d call?

“Why are you here?” The Dark One sang again, then softly said, “Go home. Get your beautiful house back and buy yourself another car. Live a good life serving God in simplicity like you always have. He can’t hate you for that, can He?”

I thought about his words for a long time. I thought about all the responses I could give him. I thought about all the verses I could quote. I thought about how Jesus had handled this being with the Word of God. I was just me. I was here. Who was I? Why was I here?

I looked at the Dark One and replied, “I have made my choice. I am here doing what God has asked of me. I may not understand how He works but I can obey Him, or I can try to obey Him. There isn’t any ‘going back’ for me now.”

I let my words fill the room around me. I rolled over and faced away from him. I sensed he stood to his feet and drifted over to the bedside.

He bent down and whispered near my ear, “I’ve warned you. Follow this path and I’ll make you suffer… I’ll find a way to kill you. You will never reach the mountain and climb it to Meribah.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine. I felt him leave. I let out the breath I’d been holding. I pulled the covers closer around me. Tears filled and fell from my eyes. The loneliness coiled inside me, twisting my guts.

“God… I’m so alone.” I cried into the darkness.

I felt God’s presence strengthen around me. I felt Him draw close and wrap me in His love. He pulled me close to Himself. The loneliness eased a bit.

“I know, my son. I know.” God whispered to me in my spirit, “I see your obedience. I have a purpose for you and the world in all of this. I am going to take you to Meribah and there you will complete your work.”

His words echoed in my heart. They seared themselves to my soul. I felt strength filling me as I let them crash over me.

“Father, all I want is to please you. To somehow bring your Great Name glory. That’s all I want.” I whispered into the darkness of the room.

He hugged me tighter and I felt His nod.

I lay there in His arms and drifted off to sleep.

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