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Part 72: Where All Journeys Grow

Chapter 15: Selections

V2.0 – 10/07/2025

The door to the main office swung open and a grumpy old woman with a lit cigarette hanging from one side of her mouth peered out at us. She looked us both up and down and waved us in with a grunt. My friend entered and I followed him into the dimly lit hallway. We walked through the cloud of smoke from her exhale. I tried hard not to choke on the putrid fumes.

“Second door on the left. Hurry gentlemen, Darren is about to make selections.” The old woman barked at us, shooing us on with her hand while taking another drag from her cigarette and breathing it after us.

The air reeked of sweat and stale cigarette smoke. The yellow halogen lights that hung precariously from the ceiling flickered as we both hurried down the hallway. We reached the door she had indicated and entered.

I noted the nameplate on the open door as I passed through it read: Darren Mackey, Owner.

The room was packed with people standing in a large group to one side facing a large desk. The round man sitting at the desk looked up and waved us toward the group without saying anything. We joined the back of the group.

No one spoke.

Everyone waited.

I watched the man at the desk as he perused his computer screen. He wore a pair of reading glasses which framed his elderly face. His white hair hung down into his face. He puffed on a cigarette and tapped its ashes into an ash tray that sat awkwardly close to the edge of one side of the desk. He let out a cough that spoke to years of indulging his vice. He glanced up at the clock and sighed heavily. He took a swig of an amber colored liquid from a glass at his elbow. His face winced at the strength of the drink.

He turned to consider us, then commanded, “Someone shut that door.”

Another man from the back of the group rushed over and closed the door to the hallway. There was no escape for me now. Whatever was about to happen I was part of it now. I had the distinct feeling of being utterly out of control of my life. I told myself God was still on the throne and that this was His journey not mine.

“I’m Darren Mackey.” The old man at the desk began, “I’m gonna consider you each one at a time and while I’m doing that the rest of you just wait… quietly. Bathroom is down the hall if you need it.”

And with that whatever this was began.

He called a man forward from the group and asked him, “Name?”

“Ryan Whicker.” The man replied.

As the man answered, Darren typed loudly on the keyboard.

“Position desired?” Darren asked.

“Deck Officer.” Ryan replied.

Darren looked the man up and down, then asked, “Credentials?”

The man handed him a bunch of papers. Darren took them and looked through them, then placed them on the desk next to him and typed more on the keyboard. He then wrote something on a small pad, ripped off the paper from it, and handed it to the man.

“You’ll be aboard the Seaward Gail. Go see Alice she will get you sorted out.” Darren told him.

“Thank you, sir.” The man replied and walked out of the room quickly.

I watched as each person was called forward from the group in front of me. Some were chosen and some were rejected. Those with credentials were chosen for positions like Deck Officer and Steward, those without them were chosen for deckhands if Darren considered them worth the risk. Everyone else was called forward and left when their fate was declared leaving me standing alone in the room with Darren.

Darren clacked away at the keyboard entering the information from the last person. I stood awkwardly, waiting.

As I stood there I became aware of the spiritual world of the room. I looked around at the darkness that seemed to permeate it, then I saw him, the Dark One. He stood behind Darren and leaned lazily over him. One of his twisted hands rested on Darrens shoulder. He looked at me with his golden eyes and smiled a wicked smile. He stood and rounded the desk to walk in front of me. I felt my guardian angels tense next to me, but they didn’t move. Darren continued to type into the computer ignoring me and unable to perceive the spiritual world around him.

I stood still and waited.

“Why are you here?” The Dark One sang the familiar question.

I remained silent.

“What is your plan now? To get passage on a ship? Going where? To this Meribah?” The Dark One asked his questions with a hiss, “I’ll make sure you get a very… special ship.”

He walked back around the desk and leaned over Darren again, placing his hand on his shoulder. He whispered things into his ear I could not hear. Darren stopped typing and looked up at me. His face slowly changed as the Dark One continued to twist his thoughts with his whispered words.

He tilted his head and considered me for a moment then said, “I’ve never seen you here before.”

“I’ve never been here before.” I told him with a smile.

He nodded and replied, “Well, that’s obvious. Nothing about you says seaworthy.”

He leaned back in his chair and lit another cigarette. The Dark One whispered more into his ear. I couldn’t hear his words. Darren took another swig from the almost empty glass on his desk.

I closed my eyes and prayed silently, “God, show me why I’m here. Make a way.”

I opened my eyes again and saw the Dark One step away from Darren. He gave me a baleful look and crossed his arms on his chest.

I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “This is the way, walk in it.”

“Well, I don’t need to ask you for credentials cause I know you don’t have them. Look kid, life aboard a cargo ship isn’t a joke. It’s hard work early morning to night, but…” Darren said, then paused to type on his computer some more.

After a moment He said, “There is a position aboard the Belleza Desafortunada open. She’s bound for Argentina this evening.”

I saw the Dark One’s face twist into an evil smile. He faded from my perception.

I looked back at Darren, “That sounds great.” I said, “I’ll take it.”

“Speak any Spanish? Got a passport on you at least?” He asked.

“Yes, I speak decent Spanish, and, yes, I have my passport with me.” I answered him.

“Good, good.” He said, “You’ll be a deckhand answering to Chief Officer Juan Pertuso aboard the Belleza Desafortunada. Alice will complete your paperwork and give you all the details after we finish here.”

He gathered my information and typed it all into the computer.

“Well, that’s it. You’re officially a deckhand now.” He told me, “Ship leaves port at 6pm, better hurry.”

“Thank you,” I told him, then asked, “Where is Alice?”

“Out the door, turn left, down the hall. There will be a line outside her office, can’t miss it.” He answered, then added, “Close the door on your way out.”

“Thank you,” I said and left the room.

I saw the line of people that had been selected before me standing down the hallway. I got in the back of the line and waited. I glanced at the time on my phone. It read 2pm. Not much time till the ship departed.

I spent the next hour waiting in the line for my turn with Alice. She was nice enough as she walked me through the employment process. I didn’t understand most of it but did my best to store the information she passed on to me. She photocopied my ID and passport. I signed documents and listened to her instructions of how to find the ship in the port. She called Juan Pertuso and told him that I was coming. I heard him tell her that I’d better hurry up.

Since I was the last person in the line, she walked me out of the building and pointed me toward the berth where the Belleza Desafortunada was docked.

I thanked her and walked quickly through the port. I had no clue what I was doing. I felt like I was being carried along in a rushing river. Everything was happening so fast my mind was having trouble processing it all. One moment I was homeless and unemployed and the next I was employed as a deckhand on a cargo ship bound for Argentina.

This journey wasn’t going as I thought it would, but then I don’t think I had any preconceived ideas of how it would go. All God had told me so far was that I was going to climb a mountain. He had mentioned a place called Meribah. I didn’t have a clue where this mountain was nor where Meribah was. Was Meribah on top of the mountain? Was that why I was going to climb the mountain, to get to Meribah?

I was nervous and a bit scared to be working aboard a cargo ship, not to mention sailing across the ocean. I had a million worries and all of them seemed to hound me as I walked past the huge stacks of cargo containers on the sidewalk of the road that wound through the port.

Soon, I saw the Belleza Desafortunada looming over me. Her name was inscribed on the upper part of her dingy yellow bow. She was stacked with cargo containers. There wasn’t anything being loaded onto her, so I guessed she had already been loaded for her departure.

There was a gathering of people on the dock next to her. I walked over to them. A man with a clipboard was checking people on board. I waited my turn and gave him my name. He found it and checked it off.

“Where can I find Juan Pertuso.” I asked him.

He didn’t reply but pointed to a man standing near the gangplank that led up to the deck.

“Thank you.” I told him.

I took a deep breath, then walked over to Juan.

He looked up at me as I approached and said in a thick Latin accent, “Ah, you must be the new deckhand. I’m Juan. You can call me sir while on board.”

“Yes, sir.” I replied and waited for my instructions.

“Any luggage?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No sir.” I said.

He glanced at his watch, then looked back up at me. “No time to go shopping. I’m sure you can borrow some clothes from the other crew if you need them. There is clothes washing on board as well.”

I nodded to him.

“Just stick with me while I get everyone settled on board.” He told me.

I stood next to him for the next hour as he greeted the rest of the crew. He introduced me to some of the other sailors. They regarded me with little interest. I didn’t take offense. I knew I was an outsider to their world.

Finally, Juan led me up the gangplank and onto the deck of the ship. We stood against the railing and watched the lines being drawn and the ship being made ready to sail. From the height of the deck I could see most of the port, the other huge ships, and the city beyond it. I felt like I was in a daze trying to wake up from a dream. It all felt so surreal.

I was still sore from the whiplash of the car accident. My emotions were all over the place. I reminded myself that my life didn’t belong to me anymore. God was leading me wherever He wanted me to be. My understanding of this journey wasn’t required, only my obedience.

Juan spoke little to me as we watched the ship slowly leaving the port behind. It was an incredible experience. It wasn’t like being on a cruise ship at all, no, this was totally different. I was onboard to work, to be part of its crew.

The sun had set by the time we were cruising along the coastline heading south. Juan took me below deck and introduced me to more of the crew. He gave me a short tour of the important locations on board. He showed me the mess hall where the meals were served and the bathroom where I could shower.

He led me down into the bowels of the ship and showed me a small room that would be mine for this voyage. The tiny room was painted a rusted tan and had no window. It seemed to be only mildly claustrophobic.

“I’ll start your training tomorrow morning at 5am sharp. Be up and ready by then. Eat dinner now and get some sleep. If you need anything come find me.” Juan told me then left me alone in the room.

I took his advice and went to the mess hall for dinner. I ate the simple meal alone at a table and then returned to my room. I closed the door and sat on the small bed. I felt the deck swaying beneath my feet. I was glad the seas were calm tonight.

I curled up and drew the small blanket over me. The metal hull of the ship groaned quietly around me. I set my alarm on my phone for 4am and plugged it into the wall to charge. I had no signal out here.

I knew I was right where God wanted me to be, and yet I felt abandoned and alone. Before the tide of loneliness could consume me I drifted off to sleep.

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