Front Cover, Back Cover, And Spine Artwork:
Description: “The First 40 Days” is Part 12 of The Book Of Benjamin Kareth. This part of The Book Of Benjamin Kareth covers a 40 day period of time between January 21st, 2021 and March 1st, 2021. This is a time of transition and a time of changes. It is a time of becoming something new and of stepping into the new.
A Glimpse Inside:
Chapter 7: Day 7
January 27th, 2021 – 8:07am: – AirBNB, Hurricane, Utah, USA:
Day seven is here… and I find myself in deep thought about a great many things. What am I truly doing for the Lord? I ask myself. Doubt seems to come in like a raging flood every single day. But whom do I have on earth or in heaven but God?
I have heard God’s call and I must obey. That is the force that drives me through each day. If asked what I am doing I would respond with, “Obeying God.”
I think often of my family and friends I’ve made throughout the years. Not one remains. Where are they now? What are they doing? How do they feel? Are they walking with God? Has my life made an impact of this crazy world? Does my life point to Jesus?
What is faith really? Do I have faith? How great is my faith really? But these questions don’t need answers. Because I realize they can’t really be answered until the years pass and I look back over my life and see His hand moving over me. When I look back and see where the path of obedience lead me. My life must seem so foolish to the world, but I believe with everything in me that what God has me doing is very important. It’s important to walk the walk of faith we are each given. God knows best. I trust in Him alone. I listen to His voice, and I follow it… always forward.
There is an overwhelming sense of God’s protection surrounding my days. Throughout this pandemic that’s wrecking this world I’ve seen God move me from place to place always ahead of the devourer. Why, I wonder? But on I walk.
Listen, trust, and obey God. That is my message to the world. Let God write your story His way. That’s the only way to life.
Chapter 12: Day 12
February 1st, 2021 – 6:39am: – On The Road, USA:
I awoke and continued my drive. I was restless and feeling very aimless, but I pressed on toward Texas.
I passed Phoenix, Arizona and was heading toward Tucson when suddenly I had the overwhelming sense that I needed to turn around and go toward Redding, CA. I must get to church I thought. And so, I turned around and headed back toward California.
I pulled into a rest area just past Phoenix, Arizona and walked to the restroom. On my way back to my car I noticed a man lying on the ground next to some of the picnic tables. He yelled, “I like your hat!” I said thank you and continued walking.
Then I had this overwhelming remembrance of being homeless and without a car. I knew this rest area was miles and miles from Phoenix. How did this man arrive here? Where was he going? Suddenly I knew I had to talk to him. So, I did. I stood a bit away from him and prayed, “God what should I do? If you want me to talk to this man have him, come over to me.” And I stood there silently praying and listening. Then the man stood and walked over, lighted a cigarette and began to talk to me. I asked him about himself, where he had come from and where he was going.
His name was Brian. He was a little taller than I am, probably 6 foot 4 inches. He was muscular and had a mohawk. He wore a leather jacket and tan overalls with combat boots. From everything external this man would seem to be dangerous… but I remained talking to him. He had walked to this rest area from Phoenix, and it had taken him two days and two nights. He was trying to get to his mother’s house in a city near Reno, Nevada.
I prayed silently and listened. It’s funny cause I could hear the voices of everyone I had known in life screaming at me to be careful. But this man needed help. I could give him help. And I knew that I was to live as if everyone I met was Jesus. So, in my mind I saw Jesus standing in front of me. And he needed help.
“I’ll give you a ride to your mother’s house.” I heard myself saying. “Come on let’s get going.” And so began a 10 1/2-hour road trip with Brian. I could go on and on about this man. About his life he shared with me as we drove. His childhood… his mistakes… his anger at the world and life. I’m not sure I said the right things during that drive. But I know that I showed him love and kindness. And by 5am the next morning I had dropped him off at his mother’s house.
Is this what my journey is about? I wondered to myself. For the one… the one God loves. I am learning day by day how to be a better representative of my King. I am far from where I should be… but my life belongs to Jesus. And I will continue to listen and obey… no matter what the cost to myself. No matter my failures or worth… Jesus is worth it all. So, I lay it all down again… before His throne.
Father, thank you that you always hear me. That you for saving me… for transforming me… for always being faithful to me. Continue to speak and I’ll continue to obey… Continue to lead and I’ll continue to follow… break me… test me… train me… raise me up like your child… discipline me… instruct me… and make me more and more like Jesus. Let me be so filled with you that it overflows to everyone I meet. I pray for Brian… love him. Show yourself to him. Wrap him in your arms and show him the way of salvation. Heal him in the deep places. In Jesus name I pray Amen and amen.
Chapter 39: Day 39
February 28th, 2021 – 7:28am: – Brandon’s Apartment, Redding, California, USA:
God will never allow me to do the work He has called me to do without Him, and oh how I have tried so many times. These past weeks are one of those times. I speed along ahead of Him trying to accomplish what He’s called me to do alone… without Him. And it doesn’t work. I end up right back in the miserable mess I was in before this journey began. So today I’m sitting here in someone else’s apartment in Redding, California taking stock of my life.
I don’t know how to just rest in God. My whole life I’ve felt I had to work hard for everyone around me or they wouldn’t love me. This feeling, this mindset is so deeply ingrained in my heart. If I don’t work no one will love me. If I don’t perform, I won’t be approved of. If I don’t somehow do exactly the right thing, I’ll be tossed aside and forgotten. How much deep pain lies in all these lies I’ve believed for so very long. Thank God He is faithful and patient with me. Thank you, Jesus, for your mercy and grace in forgiving me.
And there is a truth I feel surrounding every fiber of my being right now as I sit here… “If I never did anything for God again… He would still love me. He would still approve of me. He would still welcome me home.” My heart rages a war against this truth… and I think to myself, “I must obey you God or how can you love me? I must do everything you’ve called me to do or how can I stand before you?” These are lies from the pit of hell. Father! Have mercy on me! Break these lies off my heart today! Help me see how much you love me for just who I am today.
And in all this… these books you are reading my friend… they are the written expression of my relationship with God. That’s what they testify to. A living and active relationship with the King of the Universe. A loving and close relationship with the King of kings and Lord of lords. These books are my journey expressed for you to see. The ups and the downs. And I know that you see God more clearly somehow in these pages. And I know you see yourself at moments and so I reach out to you and ask God to fill you with all wisdom. For Him to become your all! For people to say of you, “He or she is a man or woman who is a friend of God.” Is there any higher calling? Isn’t this why we were created? To walk and talk with God!
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Truly the greatest mystery in life is how to have a relationship with God. How does that work? All I know is that the reason we were created was to have fellowship and communion with Him. We were created to reflect His glory and bring Him glory and belong to Him. This is the answer to all the whys of life. This should be each of our overwhelming pursuit and desire… to know God. Seek Him and you’ll find Him.
I am going to continue to seek Him. I am going to continue getting back up after each failing and cry out for help and mercy. I am going to open myself completely to Him and let Him lead my path. And I trust Him to do the impossible with me… in me… and through me.
Father, not my will but yours be done!
“Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead], keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” Colossians 3:1 AMP
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