TBOBK Ministries – Benjamin Potexana Kareth

Day 36 – Taste The Shadow

November 27th, 2022 – 10:58pm – Haifa Hostel, Haifa, Israel:

It has been a rough weekend for me on many levels. I think my current evaluation of my performance on every level is: poor. My mental health is taking a sustained beating. The lack of quality sleep, the lack of alone time, the culture shock, the mental drain of attempting to learn a new language, the loneliness, the wrestling with myself and God… all these things have drained me to past my point of breaking to an even lower place where even my faith is struggling. Not my faith in God no… but my strength… on every level… is gone.

I had a long walk with God today and just talked and I have to say I will never understand the way He thinks. Direction. Guidance. His way over my way.

I want to say something encouraging, something uplifting, something that would be worth reading but I don’t have any of that now. I have just this: Jesus loves you. This I know… because I have experienced it every day of my life I’m so many ways.

So as I sit here in my bed… broken… in a hostel room in Haifa, Israel… I want to say… He is worthy of it all. Surrender it all to Him and let Him be Lord and Master of your life.

My friends and my family, to those who I’ve met along the way. In all our wonderings… in the quiet of the morning hours… in the loneliest nights… He is. Always He is… trust Him.

That’s all I have right now to give you. And so I lay down to sleep… and hope that tomorrow I can face the new day.

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4 responses to “Day 36 – Taste The Shadow”

  1. Liz Adleta Avatar
    Liz Adleta

    Press on, my love, press forward, always looking up!

    “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
    ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:7-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬
    https://bible.com/bible/111/php.3.7-14.NIV

    All my love and prayers…

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    1. naviroe Avatar
      naviroe

      Love it

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  2. mirmjw64 Avatar
    mirmjw64

    Always praying that you will FEEL strong and encouraged. We lift you daily. Everytime I think of you, I pray that God would give you peace in all things. Physically, mentally, spiritually… ALL OF IT!

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    1. naviroe Avatar
      naviroe

      This has been the most difficult two months of my life. Thank you for your prayers and support. All my love!

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