December 13th, 2022 – 7:22pm – Haifa Hostel, Haifa, Israel:

Two things in life seem interchangeable but entirely are not: direction and destination. I have always confused the two, especially these past years seeking to listen and obey God. Sometimes I think He speaks of destination when He is giving direction and then direction when He is speaking of destination. How foolish I am?…

It has always seemed to me that people observing my journey need destination more than direction as an explanation for my ministry and my moving along this journey. They want to know where I am going and why I am going there… it seems to me. A why to answer the questions… a how and a why and a when. But God does not give these… I have realized. He simply says something and then I am left to obey it.

Obscurity, the absence of natural roots in this world, is my direction. I feel it at every moment pulling me deeper. But how? How can I enter such a state on this highly connected planet?

God sending me to Israel was not about Israel or Hebrew… no not at all I see now… it was about the people I would meet along the way.

The girl who works at reception for this hostel told me that the hostel would not be the same without me. She noticed how I had, for example, taken the time to befriend and care for a Russian man who had come alone to Israel to find an apartment for his family and work on the process of immigrating here. And now he is my good friend and when I return to the USA he will be ok.

What does love look like? I thought about this question today as I sat in McDonald’s across from my Russian friend as he thanked me for helping him become comfortable here. And I told him that even if I had done nothing else but meet him and become his friend that my trip was worth it.

Direction. My life will be about direction… always. The forward motion of my life as I pass through this world a pilgrim traveling home to heaven and on the way doing my best to just simply love the one that is before me. Direction. Not destination… no never destination. Never a stopping point… never a moment when the forward motion ends.

The people I attended Hebrew class want to see me before I return to the USA. So I’ll meet with them Monday before I fly back to the States.

What is the next steps? Those are firmly in God’s hands now. I will go home for Christmas. Then to a conference I think… then on to Seattle… I think… Direction.

Maybe Obscurity is a way of life… always being present in the moment but not looking back or holding on to anyone or anything along the way.

So once again I lay it all down. Look forward and take a step out into the unknown of the next. I know that there are people out there that I am meant to meet and for a brief moment love. That is what I was created to do. To gently point them in the direction of love. Toward Him.

God will take care of all my needs. That I have no doubt. And He will also take care of those I meet and love along the way. And He will also give me the strength to love so deeply and have to say goodbye so often. I care all of them in my heart… because they are in His.